Keep Your Light

We are born with a stunning light. A light that ignites  inspiration and livens up a room with ease. Yet there are times in life when we allow other people to cast a shadow over us. We allow them to dim our light. We pick up their energy and hold on to it as if it were our own. While it  is easy  to let that happen and get sucked into their shadow, it is vital to break away and let your light shine bright again.

We hear it all the time and as cliché as it sounds… recognizing you have a  problem  is the first step. It’s true. How can you illuminate your light if you don’t acknowledge it’s dimmed? You can’t, but once you recognize there is a problem you can begin to solve it. Which is usually harder than acknowledging the issue. Often time discovering the cause means you have to look in places you really don’t want to look. Especially when it is someone you care for deeply.

When you are living under a loved ones shadow, it can be easy to cut them out. Right, you want to cut out the cancer. Remove the negative matter. There seems to be a bit of a trend in cutting people off and getting away from negative toxic… well, anything. You see it everywhere on social media calling it a power move. Yet it is much more powerful to face the person and issue. If you explain to them how their mood, drama, whatever it may be is causing you to feel the way you do they may recieve the information gracefully and feel inspired or motivated. If they truly care about your relationship and themselves, they will listen and also take action to brighten their own light while also supporting you on your journey.  Sadly, we all know too well, that isn’t always the case. They may not be ready to face such a mountain. That’s okay. Let them be.

Now, this is the tricky part. You have to make a choice. Are you going to cut them out and walk away? Sometimes you have too. Sometimes it is just too much to deal with the shadow of this person.Sometimes they not only don’t want to face their cloudn they want to dim yours even more. No bueno! But there is another choice that can sometime be more incognito and successful. Learn to live with them by fixing yourself. Ooof… yeah that’s a fun one. I don’t know about y’all but when I start the work I want a buddy. WHich is why it is important to remember this course of action doesn’t mean dragging them along on your journey to enlightenment. Let Them Be. Focus on yourself. Stay  in your lane. As they watch your progress and growth they may want to join you, they may not. Be prepared for either. Know  that their journey is theirs alone. They are having their own human experience. This means, you have to give them the space to do just that.

Give both of you space. You need space to figure out YOU. What do you need? What do you want? Who are you? There is so much to figure out, you need time and space. Plus, they need sace to figure their own shit out. Or not figure it out. Which is why you may also need to separate yourself from their toxic energy so you don’t pick it up. Let it stay with them. That energy is not helpful for you and your process. I have a few people that I love immensely, but I know I can only handle them for so long before it becomes too much. So I monitor that. I stay present and don’t allow myself to get sucked into their spiral. By staying present I am able to pick up on my personal signals that let me know I am hitting my max capacity of this person. This part of the process of about YOU. It’s monitoring your behavior and doing what you need to keep progressing.

All of this may seem overwhelming at times. I know it does for me. But I also know it helps. I stay focused on the present, give people the space to be themselves and I walk away if I must. Keeping these little nuggets in my mind when interacting with a grey mood helps me to keep my light bright. Of course, sometimes I am the grey light… Oy, that is a blog for another day…